Sober open mic - adventures in anxiety.

I have decided to go to open mic at the pub - tonight - its day 5 only.. what the hell am I doing!???? 

Usually when trying ( and failing) to quit drinking I avoid any sort of social occasion knowing that I will feel uncomfortable, anxious or bored - generally all three of the above and therefore hot foot it to the bar quick smart to down my weight in red wine and possibly a few tequila or jager bombs if old faithful ain't doing the trick.  

Sometimes .. well often. I pre drink, usually a bottle before going anywhere.

 Ive pre drunk before meetings and outings and even job interviews! I don’t know how I managed to land a job as a commis chef after downing a couple of cans of 8% larger minutes before meeting the head chef. 

I wonder if his sense of smell ( and judgment) was clouded from all of the strong kitchen aromas or perhaps he thought he might like some entertainment to liven up his long hot shifts and thought this blithering idiot swaying on her stool and declaring to be the best amateur chef in the world was just the ticket.

 I’ll never know! Because of course You cant ask that can you…

“ Excuse me mr boss man, thanks for hiring me but you do know that I was off my face drunk don’t you?… I mean ... you must have smelt it? No? Well how about when I informed you of my past position as a table dancer and offered to show you some moves…”

Well… Yes. Enough said.

So anyway I have decided to go to open mic.

I am not going to drink booze!!!

I’m not i’m not i’m not.

Im not going to sing either ( thats waaaaaay out of my comfort zone right now.)

What Im going to do is take my camera and photograph people. I am an aspiring photographer and i’ve never really been sober enough to get any good shots at social events before. So this is not only a way to keep my self occupied and less anxious but will also give me a reason for being there and a reason to chat to people annnnnnd be productive and good for future networking etc.. I hope! ( eek)

I am pretty worried that the drink demon will take over .. but I have to start putting myself in these situations or I never will.

God i'm nervous!!! Wish me luck...

I think i'm going to need it! 
will update!

#tequilastoppingbird